Church Basketball Championship

My best basketball experience and perhaps my best sports experience was during my senior year of high school. I played in a church basketball league that I had played on since I was in 8th grade.

The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon Church) had a pretty sweet setup at the time. The games were played every Saturday. The schedule involved everyone in the area. Our area included all of Lexington and everything south to the Tennessee border, basically southeastern Kentucky. I played for the Corbin Ward in Corbin, Kentucky. After cruising through the regular season and tournament undefeated, we set our sights on the regional tournament. This year the regional championship was being held in Evansville, Indiana. It included the best teams from Louisville, Lexington, Northern Kentucky, and Southern Indiana.

I guess if you ranked the final four teams we would be in the top two. My oldest brother Jeff coached the team. He was very enthusiastic and player friendly. At the five spot we had six foot six Andy Potter who easily averaged a triple double in the regular season. He probably set a church record for blocked shots that year. Our other star was Matt Maguet. Matt our six foot point guard easily led our team, and probably the league in points and assists. Matt was a 10th grader at the time and had the sickest jump stop move I have ever seen. The rest of the team consisted of solid role players. I fell into the role player category, starting each game, but never putting up big numbers.

We easily won the first game by about fourteen points. The final game was played the same day. This game would end up being the best game that I ever played. At the games end I had twenty-six points. More impressive than that was my field goal percentage. I did not miss a shot the entire game. I probably doubled my point production of all the previous games played that season. The only thing sweeter than my points scored was that we won the region. It was a perfect ending to my church basketball career.

#5

You can learn a lot from someone else’s cell phone. An important piece of information is where you stand or rank. This is easy to find out. Grab a cell phone of someone you know, let’s say your fiancée for example. Then look to see where you are on their speed dial. I thought I would give this a try on Alecia….You guessed it, number five. To be fair you can’t program the number one key, because it is reserved for voice mail. I guess that makes me number four.

Oh well, five is better than nine.

The Jason Stories Part I

The Stories

Everybody has stories. I prefer the funny ones. I was in class the other day and someone mentioned narcolepsy. This word brings back a great story.

Summer 1999- I am 21 years old. I have spent the last 3 months pulling out all the stops to try and buy a house. At this time I am not in school, I am working at The Chop House about 60 hours a week as a bartender, server, manager, and checkout person. Having almost given up on buying a house after being denied by bank after bank, I ask my brother Jason if he wants to go in half with me as an investment opportunity. He decides to come on board, but again even with a partner I am denied a loan.

Having exhausted virtually every option, I finally asked my eldest brother, Jeff if he would be willing to cosign on the loan. To my good fortune he did.

Fast forward to the closing day.

It is a midsummer morning at about 8:00. I struggle out of bed, and drive to the closing destination. It is located in some office buildings, where I don’t remember. Keep in mind my restaurant schedule. I am closing the restaurant as a manger, sometimes not getting out until 2 or 3 am on top of 60+ work weeks with no consistency in my schedule.

Jason meets me there, and we go into the building. We sit down in the air conditioned room and wait the lawyers and seller. They arrive shortly before 9 and then we begin. For those of you who know about closing on a house, it seems you sign your name and no less than 1000 documents. So it begins. The lawyer is seated at the head of the table. I am beside him to his right, and Jason is to my right. Across the table are the other people involved. So, the lawyer starts the process and hands me a pen. He takes each document holds it up, explains it, and passes to me to sign. The problem is I can’t keep my eyes open. I start basically nodding off in this guys face as he is talking to me during each document. Jason becomes aware and has to start elbowing me. A document will go down in front of me to sign and I will feel an elbow to my rib cage and zap out of my sleep and sign. This goes on for half of the documents and then for some reason (I don’t remember why because I was asleep) everyone takes an intermission. Jason and I were left in the room alone. So he starts in on me, “Dude, what are you doing? These people aren’t going to let you borrow this money, you keep falling asleep! They probably think you are a crack head.” I was so loopy anyway this struck me as terribly funny and the laughter started. The laughter encouraged Jason to do reenactments that resulted in more uncontrolled laughter, which lead to more reenactments. The situation got stranger. For some reason there was this dog house inside this conference room. It was some sort of plastic play doghouse, used for like a play or something and inside was a stuffed animal dog. It was in the corner. I have no idea what purpose it served. During a break in the hysteria, I mentioned to Jason that since these folks already think I am either strung out on drugs or a narcoleptic, wouldn’t it be funny if we they came back from there break if I had the dog house out on top of the table, and was inside asleep. Now understand Jason is all business…most of the time. This must have been the funniest thing that he had ever heard because I have never heard him laugh that loud. Of course his laughter caused me to laugh more. As we were finishing our two man laugh party, the crew came back in. Both of our eyes were full of tears and our faces bright red.

The problem now was not falling asleep in this guy’s face, but instead not laughing in it. The struggles of not laughing aloud in this conference room were the hardest thing I have ever done. I could not look at Jason, the lawyer, or the dog house. I had to stare straight ahead and try and concentrate and things that weren’t funny.

I made it through the closing, without the bank reneging on the deal. Afterwards the parties involved made some comments about my behaviors. To this day I can set off laughing hysterics between me and my brother by bringing up this timeless moment.

A lesson in not being nice

Last weekend I went to New York City or Queens or is it Astoria? Any who, whilst walking through New York City I had a hankering for some bubble gum. Alecia and I scurried into a Rite Aid and we (I think I made her pay for it) bought a box of Bazooka Bubble Gum (Alecia loves the comics and they make for some of the best bubbles of which I got in trouble for blowing in church, but that is a different story).

Fast forward to the next day in the great borough of Queens. Alecia and I are in one of Queen’s finest drug stores. Alecia had to get some odds and ins. While in line I noticed a mother and young daughter. I would guess the daughter’s age to be about four. Anyway the mother was asking the store clerk if she would hold something behind the counter because she could not afford it. I think the clerk refused. As I approached the counter the same little girl was pointing to some gum, again the mother said she did not have any money. I think to myself, not a problem I have a whole box full of gum in my coat pocket. I offer the girl some of mine. The girl takes a few pieces and then the mother interrupts with, “Is it sugarless?” I explain that it is not sugarless and offer to take the gum back. The mother gives all but one piece back and then goes on her way.

As we leave the store I feel a little embarrassed and a little more angry over the fact that the mother will not allow a child to have a piece of bubble gum with sugar, but will instead give her something with artificial chemicals, some proven to cause cancer in laboratory animals (saccrin). To make matters worse here comes the argument with my fiancée who speculates on the girl’s health and if she is diabetic or not. This leads to a little tiff between us. Nothing major, but a disagreement nonetheless.

I guess you could come away with many morale’s from this story: Don’t con your fiancé into buying you bubble gum; Don’t blow bubbles in church; Mind your own business; Don’t offer candy to kids; Don’t get in ridiculous arguments over bubble gum; Don’t cry over spilt milk; A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

I will let you comment on which one you think is best, feel free to create your own if you don’t see it listed.

nothen 4 christmas

Tonight I had another one of my great flashbacks from my childhood. The memory was triggered from a story my fiancée was telling me about how she was letting people get to her, or "get her goat" as she described it. She said it happened even though she knew that it should not be.
She is the eldest child and I am the youngest.

It always happened the day before and on Christmas Eve but mostly on Christmas Eve. I was four, five, and six years old. My two eldest brothers, Jeff and Eric were high school teenagers. The talk of presents would begin, and then the torment. Jeff would start, "Hey Eric, what do you think Jerrod is getting for Christmas?" Eric would say in his serious voice, "I don't think he is getting anything, he has been bad." And then the duet would begin, "Jerrod ain't getting nothin for Christmas, cause he ain't been nothin but bad." My tantrum would start and cause the singing to get louder and more sarcastic. I would cry, scream, and then attack my two loving brothers. They would laugh, stiff arm me, and sing more. Eventually mom would come to my rescue. I am sure she would reassure me that I was getting presents, and scold my older brothers for taunting me……Ah those were the days.

What's fun these days is that my three oldest brothers all have kids, lots of kids. The paybacks sure are fun!

A Popular Show

After the secret was out and the big moment had come and gone, the producers let me talk. I called everyone I know. My brothers, my best friends, my good friends, my old friends, my barber, my real estate agent, etc. etc. I think you get the picture. I had just proposed on National Television and I wanted everyone to know.

The surprise came from the folks I did not tell, the folks that ended up calling me or recognizing me and wishing me congratulations. Back at school on Tuesday I was walking the halls of the Seaton Center. A guy from an old handball class said, "Hey, congratulations man. I saw you on Ellen." He said he told his roommate that he had handball with that guy. I remember thinking, "Wow, I can't imagine this guy watching Ellen”.

I had a couple of other run-ins like the one above. The most notable came from Terrance. I know Terrance from the Kinesiology Club. So it is Wednesday and I am in the Johnson Center (I have to stay lean for all of my new found fans). Terrance walks up to me and says, "Congratulations, I saw you on Ellen!" Now this guy is the last person I would expect to be an Ellen fan. Terrance is black, six foot six, works in a gym, is a tremendous basketballer, and I think you got the idea. So, I could not help but say, "You watch the Ellen Show?" Not that there is anything wrong with that, I had after all just proposed on the show and just curious. Terrance's response was hilarious. He said, "Well, I was just home flipping through the channels, and I saw you." Sure Terrance. You are probably in the same category as my mother, FANATIC. You not only watch it everyday, you tape it. Why? Just in case someone calls while you are watching it. Or in case it is especially good, you feel compelled to show it to your family and friends.

I wonder what Terrance likes best about the show? The dancing? The positive energy? Ellen's quick wit? The giant purse? I will never know, but I do now understand that it is a very popular show.

The WCL and Champions

The MVP award is probably sports highest accolade. In fact it is quite an honor even out of the sports world. For example, you could earn it at your profession. Let's say car salesman. You are the best. You are the most valuable player.

Rookie of the year is the highest distinction of the freshman class. All rookies strive for it, but there can be only one.

The question is, has a rookie ever taken home both awards? I racked my brain and could not think of any player that has taken home both awards. I did a quick Google search and found nothing. Certainly there are some examples of some rookies that came close. The first player that comes to my mind is Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He had a great rookie year, but will fall short of the coveted MVP award.

Tucked away a few miles north of Lexington, is a town called Cynthiana. Here you will find home to the Whitaker Croquet League or WCL. To give you a little history, the league was founded about 20 years ago. It started small, and very informal. It has come along way and is still growing. Here is where we learn of the WCL's first ever rookie to take home both the Rookie of the Year Award AND Most Valuable Player. The year was 2003. The newcomer was none other than me. On one of my first trips to the Whitaker compound I was quickly thrown into the most competitive league I have ever experienced. The trash talking was intense. The Whitakers would and will stop at nothing (including cheating) to win. I can think of one Whitaker that is so good that he handicaps himself by playing with only one arm. Another will intentionally not go out so that they can torment the other players as rover.

However, that season nothing could break me. I totally electrified the league. With signature moves, such as hitting balls into oblivion, and overcoming the nonstop cheating I could not be stopped.

At the conclusion of the 2003 I was unanimously voted in as MVP and Rookie of the Year, a feat that has yet to be repeated in the WCL and throughout the sports world.

Tonight as you think about your heroes and their tremendous accolades, and as you think of goals to set for yourself feel free to think of me and my 2003 season.